An interesting thing happened yesterday. Too much information lead to self-imposed pressure. This resulted in a big headache - for me headaches are a noticeable event since up until my late 20s I don't remember having one. Unaware the headache started to fade and after 15 min of meditation it was gone. It's worth breaking it down.
It hasn't worked out like I expected and I started chasing too many interests all at once. More than that I'm on a quest to deeply understand whatever I'm into. The theory and the practice.
I'm subscribed to a bunch of newsletter (which are great) but I start following links. Yesterday I followed a bunch of posts on Community, Containers and Machine Learning.
Pressure and Headache Reading those interesting and valuable posts I started putting pressure on myself to capture all the knowledge. A reaslization of how limited my depth in a subject is. Even though I consciously choose the topics the knowledge is not something I need right now. I think I fear not capturing knowledge and losing it to the deep internet. As if not knowing won't allow me to be successful. Or worse I'm guaranteed to fail.
The result was a big headache.
Getting rid of the headache I wasn't feel very well and asked my 5 and 3 yo daughters to be comprehensive and help me since I wasn't feeling great. I realised I was putting pressure on them and started thinking about how I could prevent it.
A debate started. On my mind. What, Why, How I got to this headache. Chasing knowledge is fine but it doesn't need to be right now. I should be chasing it when I need it and not when it's thrown at me.
Before putting my kids to bed I was feeling sightly better. It surprised me and I thought I need more of that debate.
I put a timer for 15 min. Sat on the floor with my back straight closed my eyes and thought. Let my mind race. And it ran. 15 minutes takes a lot longer than I expected. A note to self is that I need to do more of it. Also whenever I need to slow down time this does the trick.